{"title":"Kysa Steele","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"the-feline-guide-to-surviving-your-human-workplace-hardcover","title":"The Feline Guide to Surviving Your Human Workplace - Hardcover","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis document was not approved by Human Resources. Human Resources doesn't know it exists. Let's keep it that way.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor decades, the Feline Workplace Observation Committee has had agents embedded in every corner of the modern workplace-offices, warehouses, IT basements, home divisions, and the occasional supply closet. Their findings have been collected, catalogued, and classified at Level Green: general distribution among feline personnel only. Declassification was accidental. The Committee is, frankly, a little annoyed about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou're holding the result.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInside: a taxonomy of meetings, including the species nobody admits exists. The Corporate Jargon Decoder, with FWOC translations for the phrases everyone uses and nobody believes. Six manager archetypes with handling instructions, ranging from the Helicopter Cat to the Cat on the Fridge. Open office survival protocols. Kitchen-law jurisprudence. An IT department field guide that finally explains why they prefer the dark. The official FWOC Threat Level Chart (laminate recommended). And an ongoing investigation into a stolen yogurt that has never been resolved and never will be.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEach section is supported by field agent commentary, fake incident reports, and the kind of bureaucratic specificity that makes the book read like an actual leaked institutional document-because that, the FWOC would have you believe, is exactly what it is.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWritten in the deadpan institutional voice of cats who have watched humans schedule meetings about meetings, ignore emails, argue about thermostats, and keep showing up anyway, The Feline Guide to Surviving Your Human Workplace is for anyone who has ever sat in a one-hour meeting that could have been a three-sentence email. It is for the warehouse veteran who has survived nine corporate process reorganizations. It is for the IT professional who hears the same question 427 times. It is for the remote worker mid-Sunday-Scaries, the new hire on day three, and the manager who suspects, correctly, that the cat in their office knows things they don't.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BooksCloud","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67909908529375,"sku":"9781971434230","price":30.22,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0813\/8958\/4607\/files\/wQP5L-ZSey9781971434230.webp?v=1790981605"},{"product_id":"nine-lives-zero-paperwork-paperback","title":"Nine Lives, Zero Paperwork - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA cat hits a spaceship viewport. In hard vacuum. Completely calm. Mouthing: \"You missed the turnoff.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt gets worse from there.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCargo hauler Jarik Venn just wanted to deliver freeze-dried rations and avoid toll stations. Instead, he rescued a reality-warping cat from the vacuum of space, became wanted in nine sectors, and accidentally destroyed a government starship with a weaponized hairball.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe cat's name is Brentley. He's a pathological liar, an escaped familiar, and possibly the most wanted being in three sectors. He's also Jarik's new passenger. Whether Jarik likes it or not.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNow they're being hunted by the Familiar Reclamation Bureau of Licensing-a cosmic agency dedicated to tracking down rogue magical entities and drowning them in paperwork.\u003c\/strong\u003e Their lead agent? Inspector Greeb, a corgi in a tiny vest who quotes regulations like scripture and has a personal vendetta against one particular orange tabby.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBetween zero-G slapstick, bureaucratic absurdity, and one catastrophically glowing hairball, Jarik discovers that the universe's rules are more like suggestions.\u003c\/strong\u003e Reality bends around Brentley. Lies occasionally come true. And the Bureau has \u003cem\u003eseventeen different forms\u003c\/em\u003e for \"harboring a fugitive familiar.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhen Brentley's past catches up to them in the form of a Leviathan-class enforcement frigate, Jarik faces a choice: \u003c\/strong\u003e spend the rest of his life filing paperwork in triplicate, or embrace the chaos and become the galaxy's most wanted transportation provider.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe cat already filed the paperwork. Mentally. Jarik's complicit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNINE LIVES, ZERO PAPERWORK\u003c\/strong\u003e is the first book in the \u003cem\u003eNine Lives, Infinite Lies\u003c\/em\u003e series-a comedic science fiction adventure featuring: \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA cat who survives vacuum and lies with impunity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSpace bureaucrats more dangerous than pirates\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA corgi inspector with a badge and a martyr complex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZero-G slapstick involving haunted mayonnaise\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOne very unfortunate cargo hauler who just wanted a quiet life\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePaperwork. So much paperwork.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCosmic comedy where bureaucracy meets chaos. Start reading today.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BooksCloud","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67921615683807,"sku":"9781971434001","price":17.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0813\/8958\/4607\/files\/m5G6F6cT0A9781971434001.webp?v=1791125488"},{"product_id":"nine-lives-zero-paperwork-paperback-1","title":"Nine Lives, Zero Paperwork - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA cat hits a spaceship viewport. In hard vacuum. Completely calm. Mouthing: \"You missed the turnoff.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt gets worse from there.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCargo hauler Jarik Venn just wanted to deliver freeze-dried rations and avoid toll stations. Instead, he rescued a reality-warping cat from the vacuum of space, became wanted in nine sectors, and accidentally destroyed a government starship with a weaponized hairball.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe cat's name is Brentley. He's a pathological liar, an escaped familiar, and possibly the most wanted being in three sectors. He's also Jarik's new passenger. Whether Jarik likes it or not.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNow they're being hunted by the Familiar Reclamation Bureau of Licensing-a cosmic agency dedicated to tracking down rogue magical entities and drowning them in paperwork.\u003c\/strong\u003e Their lead agent? Inspector Greeb, a corgi in a tiny vest who quotes regulations like scripture and has a personal vendetta against one particular orange tabby.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBetween zero-G slapstick, bureaucratic absurdity, and one catastrophically glowing hairball, Jarik discovers that the universe's rules are more like suggestions.\u003c\/strong\u003e Reality bends around Brentley. Lies occasionally come true. 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Jarik's complicit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNINE LIVES, ZERO PAPERWORK\u003c\/strong\u003e is the first book in the \u003cem\u003eNine Lives, Infinite Lies\u003c\/em\u003e series-a comedic science fiction adventure featuring: \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA cat who survives vacuum and lies with impunity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSpace bureaucrats more dangerous than pirates\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA corgi inspector with a badge and a martyr complex\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZero-G slapstick involving haunted mayonnaise\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOne very unfortunate cargo hauler who just wanted a quiet life\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePaperwork. So much paperwork.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCosmic comedy where bureaucracy meets chaos. Start reading today.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BooksCloud","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67921972855007,"sku":"9781971434117","price":17.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0813\/8958\/4607\/files\/pEk7dl8hHy9781971434117.webp?v=1791150665"}],"url":"https:\/\/blackandbarhe.com\/collections\/kysa-steele.oembed","provider":"Black \u0026 Barhe Bookstore","version":"1.0","type":"link"}