{"title":"Mary Ganann","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"how-i-lost-myself-paperback","title":"How I Lost Myself - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was a girl from the Mississippi pines who loved the pond and the smell of cedar. My descent began in 2009 when I used Adderall to chase intensity and fill the silence left after my friends went to college. I entered a relationship that felt like clarity but was actually total control.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI lost my autonomy, eventually bowing to a man who dictated my every move and thought. To survive, I developed a detached, calculated mindset I named \"Lucifer\". This internal voice became my co-pilot, numbing my emotions until I could sit in a room and feel nothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy choices led me to prison, but even the locked doors didn't immediately wake me up; I simply planned to be \"smarter\" about my mindset. The true breaking point came when I realized my daughter was absorbing my fear and learning to be small to keep the peace. For her sake, I left and moved back to my mother's house.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am now reclaiming the \"girl from the pond,\" drawing on the legacy of my best friend Kayla and my Papaw's unconditional strength. I am not what happened to me; I am the person who chose to find her way back.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BooksCloud","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51376637575391,"sku":"9798233684180","price":11.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0813\/8958\/4607\/files\/5lVifXxQe99798233684180.webp?v=1789218225"}],"url":"https:\/\/blackandbarhe.com\/collections\/mary-ganann.oembed","provider":"Black \u0026 Barhe Bookstore","version":"1.0","type":"link"}