{"product_id":"mr-absolutely-not-paperback","title":"Mr. Absolutely Not! - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eArmed with comfy pants, overpriced coffee, and a highly anxious emotional-support corgi, I prepare to face him.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCorporate boss.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVillain. \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI step into his office. His perfect mouth twists into a sneer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere is no heart of gold beneath that suit, just a big black pit. He's a shark in the frothy waters of high-stakes finance.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe might be the quintessential asshole CEO, causing all in his path to quake in fear, but he's never had to face down a Basic Beyotch in her thirties.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am exactly like the other girls-I adore Starbucks, greige home decor, and making snarky jokes with my bestie. I've even inherited a stalker from an ill-advised singles party.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYeah, the stalker is... a problem, one I'm hoping will just go away if I ignore it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI can't ignore him, though.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe's all broad shoulders and snide comments, picking apart everything about me as he circles me, going for the kill.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe would never fire me, though. There's no fun in that. He wants me to quit, to have a mental breakdown.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWell, he can get in line behind my crazy gold-digging sister, my guilt-tripping mother, and the aforementioned stalker.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe pins me with his gaze.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI brace myself, waiting for the verbal blow to come...\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInstead, he says, \"I need a date tonight, and unfortunately, it has to be you.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BooksCloud","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50101857124575,"sku":"9781970969009","price":32.35,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0813\/8958\/4607\/files\/1SVcbhLejk9781970969009.webp?v=1781075773","url":"https:\/\/blackandbarhe.com\/products\/mr-absolutely-not-paperback","provider":"Black \u0026 Barhe Bookstore","version":"1.0","type":"link"}