{"product_id":"vow-paperback-1","title":"Vow - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eVow \u003c\/em\u003eis a story about how 20 years of the internet, including morally dubious relationships to older men as a young girl, age-inappropriate exposure to pornography, and online-only erotic trysts with men in adulthood, obscured my yearning for God. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe chapbook opens with a vignette of a typical night at 12-years-old: online past my bedtime, waiting for a response from the man 10 years my senior who I fell into unrequited infatuation with, which lasted for almost two years. This relationship was one of, if not \u003cem\u003ethe, \u003c\/em\u003e most foundational of my adolescence, and it was comprised of worship, devotion, and never-ending desire. I include writing on two recent online infatuation-ships that inexplicably captured my focus, to my detriment and despair. These storylines collide at Catholic spiritual retreat, in which a guided meditation leads to a painful epiphany about my childhood relationship to the internet, sexuality, childhood trauma and reaching for love and divinity. The book concludes with a pleading love letter to God. \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BooksCloud","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67935074386143,"sku":"9798987095690","price":13.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0813\/8958\/4607\/files\/Urg9-8okz_9798987095690.webp?v=1791355954","url":"https:\/\/blackandbarhe.com\/products\/vow-paperback-1","provider":"Black \u0026 Barhe Bookstore","version":"1.0","type":"link"}