All At Once, Then Not At All - Paperback

by Caitlin Bowden (Author)

In navigating a life of privilege marred by deep emotional scars, Sebastian Clarence has come to understand that there are many different means of survival. He understands he has always liked boys in the way he should like girls. He understands his father finds this abhorrent. He understands that, for both his survival and that of the illustrious Clarence Group, he has to make sacrifices.

When his understanding of the world is upended after a failed assassination attempt on his twenty-first birthday, Sebastian finds himself irresistibly drawn to Ren, his initially apathetic bodyguard. As they work to unveil the perpetrator behind the attempt on his life, Ren supports Sebastian towards self-acceptance, the two soon finding themselves unable to ignore the intensity of their attraction.

While Sebastian grapples with the fallout of his repressed sexuality and the trauma inflicted by his abusive father, he soon realises there's more to uncover than just who orchestrated his attempted assassination. Soon, he's faced with the harsh reality that while there are many different means of survival, he understands nothing about what it truly means to survive.