Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers - Paperback

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Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers - Paperback

by Gordon Neufeld , Gabor Maté
$20.00
Sale price  $20.00 Regular price 

Book Overview

This parenting classic is as relevant today as it was when it was first published, shining a light on one of the most misunderstood trends of our time: how the influence of peers, magnified by social media and video game culture, is replacing parents in the lives of children, and what parents can do about it--now featuring a new chapter

WINNER OF THE NATIONAL PARENTING PUBLICATIONS GOLD AWARD - "A worthy book that brings us genuinely new ideas and fresh perspectives on parenting."--Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia

Children take their lead from their friends: Being "cool" matters more than anything else. Shaping values, identity, and codes of behavior, peer groups are often far more influential than parents. But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous--it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious, and alienated.

In Hold On to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and bestselling author Gabor Maté joins forces with psychologist Gordon Neufeld to pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to "reattach" to your children and earn back their loyalty and love.

By helping to reawaken our instincts, Neufeld and Maté empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of enrichment, security, and warmth for their children.

Front Jacket

A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in the lives of our children.
Dr. Neufeld has dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, which refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident -- as do the solutions.
Hold On to Your Kids will restore parenting to its natural intuitive basis and the parent-child relationship to its rightful preeminence. The concepts, principles and practical advice contained in Hold On to Your Kids will empower parents to satisfy their children's inborn need to find direction by turning towards a source of authority, contact and warmth.

"Something has changed. One can sense it, one can feel it, just not find the words for it. Children are not quite the same as we remember being. They seem less likely to take their cues from adults, less inclined to please those in charge, less afraid of getting into trouble.Parenting, too, seems to have changed. Our parents seemed more confident, more certain of themselves and had more impact on us, for better or for worse. For many, parenting does not feel natural. Adults through the ages have complained about children being less respectful of their elders and more difficult to manage than preceding generations, but could it be that this time it is for real? -- from Hold On to Your Kids

"From the Hardcover edition.

ISBN9780375760280
Author Gordon Neufeld , Gabor Maté
PublisherBallantine Books
GenreRelationships
FormatPaperback
PublishedAugust 2006
LanguageENG- English
Pages368
Weight1.0 lb
Target AudienceAdults
Print SizeStandard Print

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About Gordon Neufeld
Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D, is a Vancouver-based clinical psychologist, internationally renowned as a foremost authority on child development. His Neufeld Institute delivers many courses he has created for parents, educators, and helping professionals on several continents. He is recognized for his unique ability to unlock the clues to seemingly complex problems of child rearing and education.
About Gabor Maté
A renowned speaker, and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development. Rather than offering quick-fix solutions to these complex issues, Dr. Maté weaves together scientific research, case histories, and his own insights and experience to present a broad perspective that enlightens and empowers people to promote their own healing and that of those around them. His books include In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction; Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder; and Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers with Dr. Gordon Neufeld.

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