How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

by David Brooks

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Book Overview: How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives–from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen–to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”

And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?

Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.

The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.

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Editorial Reviews

The Second Mountain

“Deeply moving, frequently eloquent and extraordinarily incisive.” —The Washington Post

The Road to Character

“David Brooks’s gift–as he might put it in his swift, engaging way–is for making obscure but potent social studies research accessible and even startling.” —The New York Times Book Review

“A powerful, haunting book that works its way beneath your skin.” –The Guardian

“Original and eye-opening . . . Brooks is a normative version of Malcolm Gladwell, culling from a wide array of scientists and thinkers to weave an idea bigger than the sum of its parts.” —USA Today

The Social Animal

“Provocative and fascinating . . . seeks to do nothing less than revolutionize our notions about how we function and conduct our lives.” —The Philadelphia Inquirer

“Brooks’s considerable achievement comes in his ability to elevate the unseen aspects of private experience into a vigorous and challenging conversation about what we all share.” —San Francisco Chronicle

About the Author

David Brooks

David Brooks, an esteemed modern-day intellectual and acclaimed author, has left a lasting impression in the realm of political and cultural commentary. Born in Toronto and educated in the United States, Brooks earned his degree from the University of Chicago, setting the stage for an impressive career in journalism. An insightful observer and astute analyst of contemporary society, Brooks uses his skilled storytelling to distill complex ideas into engaging narratives, both in his written work and throughout his career as a television commentator and podcast host.

Brooks is best known for his biweekly op-ed column in The New York Times, where he keenly explores a range of topics from partisan politics to broader sociocultural dynamics. His engaging writing style has also found its way into several best-selling books, including “The Road to Character” and “The Second Mountain”, both of which give a nuanced understanding of personal growth and societal values. Brooks’ words have indeed transcended the written print; he has been a regular analyst on PBS NewsHour and NPR’s All Things Considered, making him a familiar voice to many households.

Through his role as a commentator, columnist, and author, David Brooks has become a significant figure in public discourse, known for his ability to dissect and simplify intensive topics. Equally adept at engaging his readers in thoughtful reflection about personal transformation as he is in unpacking the complexities of American politics, Brooks’ contribution to the field of journalism is immeasurable. His influence has been widespread, ultimately making him one of the most enlightening voices of our time.